What change do you want to make?
Want to start a new habit? Drop a bad one? Great! It’s important to start out on the right foot, so…should you start it fresh on Monday? Or make a New Year’s Resolution and go all in on January 1st? How about next month?
I’m sure we all have a new habit or change we’d like to make. Eating healthier could be on most of our lists. Possibly daily walks. Reading more books. Or finally keeping your closet more organized. Maybe it’s something deeper like stopping the negative self talk. Or a big commitment such as starting your own business.
how to make a change that sticks
You’re here reading this because you’ve decided you’ve had enough failure and procrastination and you’re going to start your new change…
“Yes, start it and succeed… going to start… uh, Monday? Does that seem ok? Yes on Monday I will do that thing!”
And with that one decision you’ve already begun to relax. You’ve chosen to do nothing yet and put it off for the future. Monday comes and goes. The change never sticks. It doesn’t even start. What’s getting in the way of your real and lasting change?
The problem is Monday, if it’s not today, is always at least a day away and by the time it rolls around, you may have lost your drive to create your new habit. If you choose the beginning of the month as your starting point, you can bet other tasks will quickly fill your calendar before you reach that date. If you choose to change with the new year, woo boy… you can almost guarantee it will be forgotten by then.
So What's the Best Day to Start?
So I think you already know what I’m saying: As soon as you decide that you need to make a change or develop that new habit, that moment is the moment you need to commit and start.
“Whoa whoa! Too scary! Why is she being so intense?” Well, hold on. Stay with me for a second.
Yes, I said to start immediately… but when I say start, I don’t mean do EVERYTHING.
No business was or can be built in a day. No one ate all the healthy food in one sitting. No one can possibly do it all immediately. Breathe.
But what you can do is, as soon as you decide to make your change, while you’ve got that fire in your belly, you can choose to do one thing toward that goal. Just one thing, and then you can consider yourself a success for the day. One thing and you’ve begun. It’s that simple. Every day you can choose to do merely one thing toward your change. One. That’s not scary. That’s not intense. Totally doable. You can do this. After doing your one thing, say to yourself, “SUCCESS!” and mean it because that’s what success is: something achieved.
What Qualifies as doing "a thing"?
- Example 1 “Eating Better”: Suppose your goal is to eat more vegetables. Your “thing” could be: Watch a few vegetarian cooking videos. Or save a recipe you want to try and make a shopping list for that recipe. Maybe make a new easy recipe. Subscribe to some vegetarian cooking channels. Pick out a new vegetable at the store and look up how to cook it. Make the choice to order a salad instead of a sandwich. These are all small, easy “things” that don’t take much time.
- Example 2 “Organization”: Maybe your goal is to have a nicely organized bathroom. Your “thing” could be: Tackle one shelf and toss or give away all the products or items you don’t use. Or if that’s too big of a “thing” for you on a busy day, you could throw out 3 unused items or even continue that for every day for a month straight. One day’s “thing” could be to learn how to fold your towels nicely so they stay stacked and neat. Watch a Youtube video on bathroom organization and take a few notes. Read a chapter (or 5 pages?) of Marie Kondo’s famous organizing book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. There are many easy and quick “things” you can do daily.
- Example 3 “Start a Business”: If you have always wanted to start your own business, you know there will be a lot of work involved in getting it off the ground, but if you take it small step by small step, you can get a considerable amount done over a period of time. Your “thing” could be watching beginner videos on starting your own business and taking notes like you’re in school, thinking of a business name, researching that name to make sure you can use it, buying the domain name, finding out competitive rates to charge for your service or products, sit with a friend who will help you write a short bio about yourself or business, designing a business card (it’s easier than you think!), watch some videos on how to take great product pictures. There are many tasks to do when starting your own business and with small steps it will take time, but it always takes time. There are no overnight successes. Every business had to start somewhere and you might as well get started now. Ever hear, “slow and steady wins the race”?
So How Do I Keep it Going?
Keep Track of Successes
The goal is to get the ball rolling and make that change part of your life for real. You can work on your desired intensity later. For now, just take that fire and get some momentum happening. The trick is making it achievable on a daily basis so that eventually it becomes your normal daily habit. One thing every day. After a month, you will have done 30 things toward your goal. After 3 months, you will have nearly 100 things under your belt. Wow. Before you know it, you’ll have your house organized, or you’ll learn that language, or even own your own business.
A good way to stay motivated is with a calendar that is dedicated specifically to your goal. If you like, you can download my free printable here: “One Thing A Day” Calendar to check off each time that you do your one thing. Print it out now, do your “one thing” toward your goal and cross out a box (or circle the word). Then you can say, “SUCCESS!” Success isn’t a destination, it’s a journey if you decide to stay on it. With every box you fill, you make a choice to stay on this journey.
Keep your calendar where you’ll see it daily. I like the bathroom wall next to the mirror or even right on the mirror. Maybe on your front door so you’ll see it on your way out every day, or taped off to the side on your computer screen. You want to be confronted with it. You want to be reminded.
Community
You can join Facebook groups centered around your goal. You could search for and follow Instagram leaders and Tik Tok-ers that have tips on how to do what it is you want to do. They often have tips you might not have thought of, but what really helps is being reminded daily of your goals and feeling like you’re part of a community of like-minded individuals.
Keep It Hush Hush
Research has shown that people succeed in their goals more frequently when they keep their plans to themselves. As soon as you start telling everyone what you plan to do, your brain pumps out the happy hormones that make you feel like you’ve already accomplished the goal. Naturally afterwards, your drive to accomplish it goes down because your brain feels like you already have. If you can, keep your fire burning hot inside. Keep your plans to yourself or only share with one or two close friends, which brings me to…
Positive People
Positive thinking is nothing without action, but the company you keep is key. Surround yourself with the friends and family members who believe that change is possible and good. Be with the people who will support you and believe in your ability to make good choices.
My Story
My desired change was wanting to start a blog. What was holding me back? The thought of writing at least 10 posts was intimidating. It felt like a huge mountain to climb. …And honestly: it might have been the thought that I’d have to post a picture of myself and put on makeup or do my hair when I didn’t feel like it. But after a while I realized something: no one said that my picture had to be polished… and actually, no one said I had to write 10 posts immediately. I realized that to get to 10 posts, I only have to start by writing one. I only have to make this choice to do one tiny thing toward my goal, and then all I have to do is choose it again, then again. But each time I choose to do my one thing toward my goal, I succeed. One thing, today.
What’s my one thing that I did today toward my change? I decided to just take the damn picture for my first post, as I am, in this moment. Yes my dress is wrinkled, my eyeliner is half off, and my side table is a mess. It’s imperfect, but it’s done. That’s good enough. This is day one. SUCCESS!
